


Little Red Shota Hood: A Vocaloid Parody

by Hatsunation



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Comedy, Crack, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-30
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-19 09:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2383331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsunation/pseuds/Hatsunation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Len is wearing a girly hood, Meiko is a mother, Miku is a grandma, and Kaito is a spin off of Taylor Lautner He's still gay . Part 2 now including Rin as a . Rated T for language and suggestive content.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Yo Len! Get your ass down here a do this job I got for you!" A voice screamed.

Len sighed with fatigue, "Why does Meiko have to make me do all these stupid chores? Can't she do them herself?"

He trudged out his room over to the main room of the house that doubled back as a kitchen, living room, dining room, sitting room, AND foyer.

Since the area doubled back as so many things, Meiko preferred to call it the Kilidin Sifo*. Len had no idea how she even came up with a name for the place, but with her drunken mind, it was likely no one would ever find out; or make sense of it anyway.

Meiko stood in the center of the Kilidin Sifo in a proud pose like she was some sort of aristocrat.

"Finally decided to show up, you sure took your time," Meiko commented.

"What do you want this time?" Len asked irritably.

"Oh!" Meiko said with a kissy face, "Someone's a wee bit grouchy! I wonder why that is?"

Len raised an eyebrow, "Who says 'wee bit' these days?"

She waved her hand as if she was dismissing the matter, "Anyway, I need you to go take some soup to Grandma Miku back in the Forest of Doom. Think you can handle it?"

"Do it yourself! I'm not going to put up with these stupid jobs anymore!" Len fumed, "First it was fetch some legendary sake from the Field of Rash Giving Flowers, then fetch MORE legendary sake from the Lake of Yellow Liquid, then even MORE legendary sake from the Cave of the Nudists! But now Grandma Miku? I'm not going to!"

Meiko's expression darkened, "Listen boy, I'm fucking fed up of your fucking complaining. So go fucking bring your fucking grandma her fucking soup or you'll fucking wish you fucking weren't ever fucking born."

Len was flabbergasted. Not because he was scared, but because he never heard someone use the word fucking so often in one statement. He was impressed at the very least.

"F-fine," Len agreed hesitantly.

Meiko shoved him a basket with colorful flowers entwined around the wicker handle. She then also proceeded to hand him a piece of red cloth white lacy trim around the edges.

Len gave the objects a skeptical look.

Seeing Len's confused face, Meiko explained, "The flowers grew their naturally, despite how many times I tried to get rid of the things using… various methods."

Len shook his head, "I wanted to know what the red thing is."

"Oh! That!" Meiko laughed, her face quickly darkened with a creepy smile, "It's your punishment."

"What did I do to deserve being punished?" Len questioned.

"YOU TRIED TO DEFY ME!" Meiko said in some sort of impersonation of someone.

Len sweat dropped, "Well I'll go get this stupid delivery over with…"

With ninja speed, Meiko quickly jumped up and tied the red fabric around his neck.

Meiko smiled, "Silly fool, you tried to go without your cute little hood!"

Len clenched his fists, "This thing is for girls!"

"Then you'd suit it perfectly!" Meiko replied with a snooty laugh.

Len glared to the side with an anger vein throbbing on his forehead, "Whatever, at least no one will see me like this."

Len stormed out the house with his red cape flowing out behind him, only to have the door slam shut and get his hood caught in the door.

Len stomped his feet in annoyance, "Aw, come on!"

He angrily ripped the cloak from the door and resumed stomping out into the Forest of Doom.

As he grumbled along the path he noticed the lack of pleasant animal noises. The only sound he could hear was growling, screeching, screaming, and…. Well, let's not go there.

Len stumbled around the forest trying to avoid poisonous brambles, venomous squirrels, and toxic fruit that persisted in trying to get in his way.

After a good bit of cursing, he finally managed to reach a green cottage with pots filled with leek lining the window sills. Len took one look at the house and immediately knew that this was the residence of Grandma Miku.

He strolled up to the door and rapped his fist against it several times.

"I hope the old croon isn't asleep, I don't want to get stuck out here waiting on this imbecile of a grandma," Len grumbled to himself.

The leek shaped door swung open revealing a young looking girl with teal pigtails.

She cocked her head at Len, "Lenny?"

Len stared at her awestruck, "Grandma! Why are you not old!"

Grandma Miku's eye twitched in annoyance, "You trying to imply something, boy?"

"O-of course not! You're still the same ol- YOUNG grandma I always knew!" Len stuttered.

She clapped her hands, "Then come on in! I suspect you brought my leek soup, right?"

Len mumbled 'yes' a proceeded to follow Grandma Miku into the cottage.

Len inspected the inside to see everything was decorated to resemble a leek in some way. Len wrinkled up his nose with disgust, the place reeked of leeks! All he could do was count down the time until he'd be able to leave this leek shrine of a house.

Grandma Miku bustled over to her leek kitchen and swept a bowl off a counter.

"Here's a little reward for my cute little grandson~!" Grandma Miku smiled as she handed Len the bowl.

Len look in the bowl to see pink tentacles squirming around trying to fling pieces of leek out the bowl.

"What is this shit?" Len asked.

"Octopus with leek in a tuna broth since the thing refused to be cooked unless it was in tuna," Grandma Miku grumbled.

Len flung the bowl over his shoulder, annoyed.

"I wanted to get something else," Len muttered.

"Oh! You want that. I don't think it was good enough last time. You'd just be disappointed," Grandma Miku tsked.

"But it's all I ever look forward to!" Len whined.

"What? You don't like me or something?" Grandma Miku yelled.

"No. I just want it," Len declared.

"Such an eager little boy you are! I didn't know you were the age to start wanting that, but I guess I was wrong," Grandma Miku laughed.

"I've had it before! Why is now different?" Len muttered.

"Oh fine. I suppose I should have known better than to try to resist," Grandma Miku smiled.

~15 Minutes Later~

"Thanks for the explosives Grandma! You're the best!" Len called out as he walked out the door of the leek house swinging the basket now filled with bombs, TNT, and other dangerous goodies.

"No problem Lenny boy! Just make sure you get back to Meiko alright!" Grandma Miku called.

Len strolled off into the woods feeling much happier than he had in a long time. He'd finally be able to deal with the problem.

He swatted his way through spider webs until he heard a blood curdling howl.

Len froze in place as he heard a deep voice growl, "Hello my sweet tender sausage~"

Len slowly rotated to see a man with dark blue hair standing shirtless in a pair of ripped jeans along with a black tattoo on his upper arm of an ice cream cone.

"It's you! What the hell do you want this time?" Len yelled.

He striked a muscular pose and said, "I've just been hunting all these big bad woods for the single ray of light like you my little pork chop~"

"Guh, why are you so gay?" Len groaned.

He struck another pose, "It's what the heart wants my tasty ham~"

Len began to laugh evilly, "It's hard for your heart to want something if you don't have one!"

He reached into the flower covered basket and pulled out a stick of dynamite. Len then proceeded to throw it with all of his might at the gay wolf man.

The TNT bounced harmlessly off his head onto the ground.

"Someone forget the fire my hamburger~?" The man asked.

"Fuck you Grandma! You didn't give me matches!" Len cursed angrily.

The blue haired man slung his arms over Len and whispered into Len's ear, "If you want I could light a fire in your heart~"

Len turned his head up to the sky and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	2. 2

"What the hell is this?" Rin screamed.

After finally narrowly escaping from a pit of acid breathing daisies, Rin proceeded wearily on her conquest through the Forest of Doom.

The Forest of Doom (or the Forest of Rapists, Pedophiles, Gays, and Whatnot as it was called now) was a place to be feared by most people. Rin was not most people.

The woods were always empty ever since the kidnapping of a 14 year old boy. Rin, or course, was determined not to let such a frivolous thing get in the way of her endeavors.

After tearing through brambles and colonies of mutant chipmunks, Rin came across a green and white house with leeks growing in hordes and it.

"Maybe this is the place…" Rin thought.

Rin kicked open the door sending it flying into the cottage. A high pitched scream was heard from a corner.

"This has to be it," Rin thought with a smile.

She marched in to the house and turned to a large fancy chair facing a brightly lit fireplace.

"Show yourself!" Rin demanded.

Rin could see legs touch the ground as the chair began screeching and turning to face her; apparently the occupant was too lazy to get up to face her.

A girl with long hair sat trembling in the chair holding knitting needles with a basket of mutli colored string in her lap. There were a few leeks tucked between the cushions and one in the girls' mouth.

"Mwes?" The girl asked.

Rin raised an eyebrow, "Who the hell are you?"

"Wim Wen's ramwota," The girl choked out.

Rin snatched the leek from her mouth and threw it on the floor, "Speak properly!"

"I'm Len's grandmother! You know, Grandma Miku?" the Grandma Miku answered.

Rin shrugged, "Well do you know where he is?"

"I heard he was kidnapped by some gay pedo rapist wolf man," Grandma Miku informed. Grandma Miku then resumed her knitting.

"Will you stop knitting?" Rin roared.

"How else will my little leeks survive the cold freeze? They need sweaters!" Grandma Miku explained.

"This chic is obviously deranged and possibly dangerous," Rin thought.

"Well if that's all the information you have for me then I have no use for you," Rin said turning to leave.

"Why do you want to know about my little Lenny-chu?" Grandma Miku asked.

"It's none of your concern," Rin muttered.

"Tell meeeeeeeeeeee!" Grandma Miku whined.

"Shut up!" Rin screamed firing a pistol at Grandma Miku's head.

Miku slumped to the floor dead.

"Serves her right," Rin thought.

As Rin walked out the door leeks pierced the door frame beside her head.

Rin turned around to see Grandma Miku standing as if she not a single bone in her body holding leeks between her fingers like claws.

"Heehee~! You can't kill me. I was blessed by the Leek Gods with immortality! You shall pay for trying to disrupt my oath I made to Them!" Grandma Miku laughed.

Leek wings sprouted from her back and she took off flying into the sky (She went through the ceiling of course) laughing in a very troll like manner.

"What kinds of freaks live in these woods?" Rin thought.

Shortly after the encounter with the deranged leek girl, Rin was once again on her way to find 'Len'.

After a couple minutes of wandering and running off zombie bunnies Rin found herself in a clearing.

"Someone's been here," Rin thought.

She began to search the clearing to find a trail of circular objects sticking out the ground with some sort of string hanging out most of them.

It was dynamite.

Rin picked up a stick of it and sniffed it before coming to the conclusion that he had been here. Rin began to follow the trail before finally getting to a cave in the side of a small hill that was covered in flowers.

"This has to be it!" Rin thought happily.

She marched into the cave and plunged into complete darkness. After much running into walls and cursing a light was visible at the end of the tunnel.

"Stay away from the light…" A voice echoed behind her.

Rin ignored the random voice that sounded suspiciously gay and continued to the light to see a house in the middle of the cave.

A wide smile spread across Rin's face as she briskly walked to the house and kicked open the door. In the middle of the room was a gold wired cage with Rin's target inside. He was wearing a frilly red dress with a red hood trimmed in white lace.

Len stood up at the sight of Rin with happiness practically dripping from his very being, "Someone's finally going to save me!"

"What do you mean save my barbeque rib?" A voice said from behind Rin.

Rin turned to see a man with blue hair looming over her flashing his gleaming white teeth at her making sure to include a few muscular poses.

"No!" Len screamed, "Kill him! Make sure he dies a slow and painful death! He doesn't deserve to live!"

"What are you talking about my sweet Canadian bacon? Don't you love me?" The wolf man asked.

"I'm straight you gay fag!" Len yelled.

"This girl! She's changed my beloved tenderloin! I'll kill-!" The wolf man began to shout but was silenced with a shot from Rin's pistol.

The wolf man fell to the ground dead.

Rin took a step to the cage and began to unlock it.

"I can't thank you enough! All I would've liked is that he died more painfully but at least he's dead!" Len elated.

Before the cage door could open a random baby came out of nowhere and banged the door shut.

"The hell is it now?" Rin fumed.

Rin turned around to see the wolf man had turned into a wolf woman and was standing there limply that she(?) had not a single bone in her(?) body.

She(?) began to laugh, "Heehee~! You can't kill me. I was blessed by the Pedo Gods with immortality! You shall pay for trying to disrupt my oath I made to Them!"

She(?) then sprouted wings made up of small children and flew up into the sky (She(?) went through the house ceiling and the cave roof of course) laughing in a very troll like manner.

Rin clenched her fists and busted open the cage door (She killed the random baby holding it together).

"Thanks for saving me," Len smiled, "But why did you come all this way for me?"

Rin smiled and pulled two small objects from her jacket, "I thought you'd make a nice treat."

"W-what do you mean?" Len stammered.

"I'm a cannibal you see and I overheard your mother talking about you so I figured you'd be worth the effort," Rin grinned revealing a fork and knife.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Len screamed trying to get past Rin to run away.

Rin laughed evilly and stabbed her fork into Len's arm.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

~ The End! ~


End file.
